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Frequently asked questions
(see further down for "frequent arsehole questions")

The most important thing that you can do before getting a Tattoo is taking the time to find the right studio and/or artist.

Many people just decide on a whim that they want to get a Tattoo and enter the nearest shop/studio without much thought about what they are doing. Some get lucky and walk away with a great Tattoo and some don't. Here are some things to help you along in making your decision and to make sure that you get a Tattoo you are going to be proud of.

Visit Several Studios:-
Shop around! - If you were about to make a major purchase, like a car, you wouldn't just buyfrom the first dealership you went to. Check out examples of the Artists' work, ask around and take the time to just stay for a while and watch if you can. Ask the Artist questions and see if they are friendly and willing to talk to you.If you wander around the shop for half an hour and no one even asks you if they can help, then they don't take much pride in their work.

Scrutinse The Work:-
You don't have to be an Artist to tell quality artistry from a bad job. Whether you get the chance to view pictures in an artists portolio, or see a live example, look really closely at all the lines. They should be smooth, not jumpy or jagged or shaky. Colours should be bold and filled in completely with no blank areas. Be choosy!

Listen To Your Friends:-
Your freinds can be a great resource to you. If they have had a good experience they will probably recommend their artist. Also, if they have had a bad experience, will warn you off from making the same mistake! Ask around, be brave. If you see someone with a great tattoo, then ask them where they got it done. Most people will take great pride in their Tattoos and will be more than willing to provide you with the details of the Tattooist.

Question - ARE TATTOOS SAFE?
YES - As long as you go to a reputable artist that is following all recommended safety precautions. Avoid tattooists that work from home - these are known as scratchers (most live up to that name). Ask around local people for their recommendations, word of mouth is the best way of finding out especially if the person you are talking to has been to that studio.

Question - DOES IT MATTER HOW LONG A STUDIO HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED?
YES - Some studios that have only just opened, or have only been there for a short while may mean the tattooist is inexperienced or worse, incompetent. Hygeine may also be a problem if the Tattooist is not fully capable. Also aftercare with a 'fly-by-night' artist may not be possible, there is less surety he/she is going to be around for very long.

Question - DOES IT HURT?
YES - Pain is relative. Everyone has a different tolerance to pain. There is no point in lying, yes it will hurt - but how much, nobody can tell you until you have a Tattoo. (Most people do return time and time again, so it can't be that bad).

Question - HOW MUCH IS IT GOING TO COST?
The old adage 'you get what you pay for' springs to mind. There are plenty of cheap Tattooists out there but the quality of the work may not be what you expect or want to look at for the rest of your life. Most cheap Tattoos end up being covered by a respected artist. If you want a tattoo that you can be proud of, then be willing to pay the true value of that.

A TRUE PROFESSIONAL TATTOOIST SHOULD:
Be willing to show you photographs and talk about examples of their work.
Answer all of your questions without hesitation. No question is irrelevant - if it is bothering you - ASK IT!
Will explain the cost of their work. Cheaper doesn't mean better. It usually means substandard quality and less time spent on you.
Explain how they clean and sterilise their equipment. Blood and body fluids are not always visible to the naked eye.
Surfaces and equipment should be carefully cleaned and then sterilised in an Autoclave (Steam Steriliser)
Have a clean, bright, sanitary studio that you feel comfortable in. Use new piercing or tattoo needles for each customer.
Use new gloves during the whole procedure. Not be under the influence of alcohol or drugs. They will make sure you aren't either.
IF THE ARTIST CAN'T OR WON'T ANSWER ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS, LEAVE AND FIND ANOTHER ARTIST. IT IS YOUR BODY, YOUR RIGHT.

FREQUENT ARSEHOLE QUESTIONS - THE TOP TEN DUMBEST QUESTIONS TO ASK A TATTOOIST

1. DOES IT HURT?
Lets see - a needle going in & out of your flesh at a rate of 3000 times per minute - what the hell do you think...

2. HOW LONG WILL IT LAST?
As long as you like - if you get fed up of it, come back and i'll grind the bloody thing off...

3. WILL IT COME OFF IF I WASH IT TOO SOON?
Don't talk out of your arse - will it F**K!!

4. CAN I GET DRUNK FIRST?
Sure - i like performing a critical procedure on a moving booze smelling, piss head target.

5. IS EVERYTHING STERILE?
What the hell are you doing here if you don't think so...?

6. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL PAT, BOB ETC?
Waht od oyu thikn i am, dilsecix...

7. DO YOU GIVE CREDIT?
Ha ha ha ha ha.........................

8. HOW MUCH IS A TATTOO?
How much have you got in your pocket...?

9. YOU WON'T HURT ME WILL YOU?
Erm, of course i bloody well will!

10. WHAT HAPPENS IF I PASS OUT?
If you're male, i'll take a photo and put it on the shop wall - if your female, it's my lucky day!